who knew this would be the outcome…..I did lol (although at some points tonight I was unsure…this race was close…until ohio’s fat butt decided on a seat haha) 

My little brothers reaction to Star Wars Episode 7 and (all of) it being owned by disney..”Lucas is still going to help right? because I don’t want any singing” hahahaha same thing I was thinking, or around there. I really really hope they don’t mess it up. Star Wars has been one of my favorite stories (movies) of all time. I’m excited for the new trilogy yet scared, lol now I know what the old timers felt when the prequels were being made.

http://youtu.be/QIkqX5fG_tA

school

break out

garage

got out, `

cop with fire arm 

takes us

drives down free way at night

everyone thinks about school and how I had it the worse

….somehow I recall the other dreams that I had before it going down the stairs

as we drive through the city i noticed the floor and show everyone the words 

the guy helps some cop with a cop with a glass arm and head

but we get caught by the clowns

put in front of a cage, play some card game

cards had multiple numbers and letters..i freaked out, 

i was holding playing with the midget cup

lose.i plead for the midgets life to be spared

then get taken to the vicious cat cage by a cat creature

but i tame the most vicious cat…after a few scratches on the arm

they brand me as i play with both cats

then they leave and later i recall some story of some lady who made the place…

and she comes  back as a zombie and remembers how to open..i go the other way

get out..and help some cop by blowing some railroad tracks that push her

then another group leaves clown bodies in front of her as i walk towards her

Life’s been busy lately…so much stuff to do, specifically for my business, i’m doing so much but barely moving..at least that’s how I feel as of now..although I did pop a few business cherries last month lol, I got my first customer, first customer problem and well also a few new projects..but they’re also barely moving..trying to do things by myself..is hard and I wanna hire someone and to tell myself the truth (lol because I write this for myself) I don’t really wanna go back to school, what i’ve learned so far has barely helped me at all…I guess I don’t want to stop completely but take only enough classes that I will be able to work on my business. Although I been feeling down..i’ve also been feeling super happy and excited because I can feel that this is my time (I know it sounds kinda weird but I just feel it), maybe it’s just because i’ve always been optimistic person and even when I feel the world against me, I still feel as if nothing will stop me if I put my mind to it…but yeah of course i’m realist but that doesn’t stop my dreamer..we must always be kids and dream the impossible…oh my new favorite quote :-“We shall teach them, that we forge our own paths! and nothing in this world is impossible, When heart and mind are put towards it!”-Spartacus …such an awesome quote..my other motivating quotes are:La vida es corta so do your best!!-Me ,”Do or do not; there is no try”-Yoda.,”Poco a poco sin apuro, que el amor es mas seguro”-Dad. 

OK ok ok enough of quotes. So last year I did the impossible, I got over steph…it doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t love her..it just i’m able to move on and not think about her, and still hope the best for her. I know it was a random thought but it’s been a constant subjet in Elena’s mind, because she’s always asking me about my past..the last subject was sarah..it does suck that she doesn’t live here because I would date her, she has a lot of what I been looking in a girl..she’s just too far away, and I feel bad because without trying I know she’s already infatuated with me..and I in the beginning I did truly think about dating..to the point that I asked Kev and Peach about the whole ordeal but when I got back I started think about her life and where she was going and where mine was going..and I didn’t want to derail her trajectory..she already had so much planned for herself down there..buying a house and a car..and she’s so close too, and then also she was a bit more than me of starting a relationship which closed me up quick..not because I was so afraid but because I didn’t want to hurt her, if I didn’t really see anything happening, although it kinda sucks because she started getting more romantic and what not just as closed up..and it feels kinda of unfair for her. I like the chick, I do but the feelings are locked away. Sometimes I hate my super power, because once I cut somebody off it’s really hard to get that back, it’s almost impossible and sometimes it disappears forever. In her case though I know it’s not totally gone..it’s funny she tries to act like hers are gone but i’m good at reading people even when it’s in text (lol…i’m such a dork) but I can tell she’s hiding or trying really bad haha because she want’s me to try, it’s the whole trying to get him to chase me strategy..although I gotta say last message she sent me hit a nerve…so well the message before that I sent her the song a thousand years..and told her that, that’s the song I dedicated to my future wife..I don’t know her but I’m already madly in love with her, and then she said that she wishes that was her and she knows that if we didn’t have this distance she could be..and that nipped me but it didn’t do as much as what she wrote in the last one where she said  ”I know we would be happy, I can feel it in my heart, it’s something strange but I feel it, I know I would love you because you’re beautiful (heartwise)..only of course If I was able to spark that love feeling in you, but I know If I was able to accomplish that….” and then she when up to pain this picture where we walk holding hands as the sun sets and then I kiss her and she finds out that I suck…hahahahah this really cracked me up and I after that she said ” I don’t have wings but I know I would learn to fly..if there was a feeling created…if I had sometime..I know I would sacrifice a lot for you..the things that matter are the things that cost the most...” She this last part because well two weeks ago she had told me about this song and compared to us..where in the song it compares the lovers to the earth and the sky which can never be…and I was like yeah your some what right because i’m like the sky, you can see me but you can touch..because i’m so far away..and then I said only we could learn to fly.. so I guess I kinda set myself up for that one but this whole paragraph really got to me because well I though I had cut the feelings off completely but apparently they weren’t because as I read this part I could feel the steam as it reached the surface…… I do like her and it sucks, I’m trying to be her friend like she wanted in the beginning (or more like her defense) but it’s hard when she says stuff like that but I got to protect her from me…being me sucks

I know it’s kinda dumb to compare myself to superman but I do a lot, he’s my favorite super hero, he puts others before him even if it means sometimes losing what he wanted most, just so he can protect them. And he never ask for anything in return. This thing that i’m doing now, i’ve put everyone else on hold so I can help those who needed most, but man I’m really starting to miss my friends and doing certain things, but i’ve realized that I need to do this because this way I can help way more people and specifically my mom and lil bros.

Oh on another subject, as soon as this is done. I might need to get girlfriend,not anyone obviously but I need to stop closing my heart to the idea.. For now I don’t let it because I don’t want it to be a distraction, because what I’m doing is reallyyy important. However having said all this..as I was telling Elena, I don’t think I can be single for as long as she was..she got really hurt and needed a lot of healing..like a lot apparently…I on the other hand have a side of me that’s going crazy wanting me to experience love and go out there, and I’ve hid for so long now, first because I was scared of it and was scared of it hurting people after the whole buu ordeal, and then after I tried to do the opposite and not care of my feelings or other people’s feelings..I hurt someone else..and I still thought I liked some girls..but I closed myself till I knew I healed completely..and well that happened in december, because something happened that showed me that I was fine..finally fine, and then in venezuela I found the type of girl I been looking for but she’s so far away and i tried not to feel anything for her while I was down there..specially because I knew I had to when I came back..but it didn’t completely work, but then I got a bit of a handle on it after a month of being back..but ok this is going to sound weird to me because..it’s kinda something I’ve always been against..but this girl who is one of michi’s friend so it means she’s probably only 17 looked at me…well I was looking at her because they were doing this like pyramid thing in the pool and then she noticed me looking at her and smiled,mouthed the words hi and did the little finger wave thing..and I like a highschooler smiled and mouthed words hi back and had my heart beat like it does when I like someone..and though wait wth..oh nooo…I’m not my dad and there’s no way you’re ever going after highschooler….but this girl is seriously beautiful, when she first came into the pool she caught my eye and her smile was gorgeous, too bad she’s in college or something..although I started thinking how weird it is that in a few years I can check her out and it would be ok..although I technically wasn’t checking her, I was just captivated by gorgeous face..which is what happens when I like girls…as weird as it is I don’t really check them out..not until I date them lol, but hmmmm yeahhh anyways stupid taboo topic, it’s funny though I thought of a friend who dated a 17 year old that was in college..and my dad and mom…i’m always trying to be not like them..at least in those aspects..I think what I need to do is hang out with my friends so I can get captivated by girls my age, and find some as cute as that chick..the weird thing is this night I had dream about this chick who was 17 and beautiful and I knew I liked but I was like this is wrong and I’m not going to do anything so most of the dream I was trying not talk to her but i was hard because we both had some booths next to each other in some show..but man I felt so happy in the end, which gaaahhh makes me want to have a girlfriend I rarely get the whole like feeling, I miss feeling it everyday and being in love..I have a feeling I might get a girlfriend soon because I knows my heart is yearning for it know…specially if it’s going this out of control lol well ok maybe it’s not that bad but just saying.

So time to get on this stuff that I need to do so I can help others and eventually let myself go after the things I want lol so I shall teach them, that I forge my own path and nothing in this world is impossible, When heart and mind are put towards it!!!